Logan

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Ty

Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

Luke

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Friday, July 27, 2012

Mastectomy vs. Lumpectomy

 I met with Dr. Bunch on Monday, July 16th to schedule my surgery.  After questions and discussions, I have decided to have a double mastectomy.  Because I am triple negative and young, I think the safe bet would be to have the full breast removed.  I will only have my left breast removed at first.  When I go in for reconstructive surgery, I will have the other breast removed and reconstructed then as well.  He likes to do it this way because there is less chance of infection happening after surgery.  They want you to heal as quickly as possible so chemo can be started as soon as possible. I chose this because the chance of reoccurance is greater and I would be in constant fear that the cancer would come back.  I'm sure I will be screened yearly for the rest of my life (there goes my insurance rates,lol), but I would like to diminish the possibility of it reappearing as much as possible.  I have 2 beautiful children to raise.  I will do what ever it takes to stay healthy for them.  Surgery has been scheduled for July 19th.

Meeting the Doctors

On July 9th, I met with my surgeon Dr. Bunch.  Love this guy.  He removed some fibroids from my right breast 11 years ago.  Super nice guy.  So to see him again was not so scary. So, how do you start a conversation about breast cancer and breast removal?  You just jump right in.  He explained to me my diagnosis.  Invasive Ductal Carcinoma.  It is invasive because it has spread from the tumor in my left breast to my lymph nodes.  Ductal Carcinoma is the most common form of breast cancer.  So after a diagram and a few questions, I somewhat knew about what was going on.  I really had no idea what questions to ask.  He did explain that we were still waiting on a test that was called "hormone reactor test".  They look to see if your cancer is "driven" by estrogen, progesterone, or HER2.  We left things at this:  we were going to see my new oncologist, Dr. Ackerman.  (I have an oncologist. This is still hard to believe.)  Since we know the cancer has spread to my lymph nodes, we want to make sure it has not spread to any other parts of my body before I have surgery.  So I will go have a PET scan done.  On July 10th I met with Dr. A for the first time.  She truly knows how to calm a patients nerves and explains things very well.  She really wanted to have the results back from the hormone reactor test so she had her PA call for the results.  And we got them.  I have been diagnosed as "triple negative".  Not the results we wanted.  This means of the 3 things above, none of them are a factor.  This could mean it is a more aggressive cancer.  Really.  Really?  I needed good news.  Don't panic.  Give it to God.  Don't worry.  Give it to God.  Then look for Travis's arms.  Once again, in the doctors office, they were there to hold me.  Thank you God for Travis.
So we scheduled a brain CT (PET scans do not work on the brain) for Thursday and a PET scan for Friday.   CT scan took all of 10 minutes.  The PET scan on the other hand takes a little longer.  I get there at 7:30am. Paperwork, paperwork.  Go back.  Travis stays in the waiting room while I get started.  I first have a radioactive substance injected to me.  (Am I glowing, LOL)  They then close you up in a room with protective walls (so they contain the radiation exposure) and a TV to watch for about an hour to let the injection distribute through out the body.  They also would like for you to drink a barium drink. Eh...not so much.  It made me kinda sick. so I didn't drink to much of it.  Once Scott came and got me, i got up on the table and he began to explain the whole procedure.  I don't do well laying on my back for a period of time and closed spaces bother me some.  So I could stop him anytime during the test if I needed too.  The test himself took only about 25 minutes. So at about 9:30 we were out of there.   Now, we wait.....and pray.  Pray for God's healing hand.  Pray for his unfailing grace. Pray for His strength.  Pray for His forgiveness for once again thinking you know what is best.  We hope to hear back the results today but it could not be until Monday.  It's 3 o'clock.  The phone rings.  My heart stops.  Me eyes start to burn.  My stomach turns.  Hello.  Hey Ms. Jackson.  It's Gretchen, Dr. Ackerman's assistant.  (At this point, I breathe.  It's not Dr. Ackerman herself.)  The PET scan came back and there are NO signs of cancer anywhere else.  And I cry.  She tells me some other things.  I really don't hear her.  I know it has something to do with Dr. Bunch and my next appt.  We hang up and I couldn't cal Travis fast enough.  I was still crying so I really freaked him out, but once he understood the cancer had not spread, he was crying too.  What an answered prayer.  Thank you sweet Jesus.  Thank you.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Trusting In God

On July 3rd I went to see Dr. Ridenhour about a lump I found under my arm.  I went in thinking it was probably a blocked milk duct from breast feeding.  She took a look and decided i needed to run across the street to the breast center for an ultrasound.  No big deal.  Just being safe.  During the u/s the tech was good.  She kept me talking so I had no clue that she had found another lump in my breast.  You know usually you can tell when they see something unusual.  A+ for her.  Not until Dr. F came in and started looking, did she say there was a tumor in my other breast.  What!?  Huh. Ok.  Maybe this was another fibroid.  So Dr. R had me do a biopsy on both tumors right then.  Huh?  Right now?  Yep.  So 30 minutes later, had two biopsies done, a mamogram scheduled for Thursday and was on my way home.  Now I wait for results to be back by Thursday.  Not the kind of day I expected.  I'm at a red light.  Time for a chat with God:  Lord, really?  This is just a fibroid right.  Nothing to worry about.  Please Lord.  Amen.  It's July 4th!  What a great day.  Mom called and asked if we wanted to do something and I said " Missy and Tony are out of town, lets use their house and go swimming".  Best idea ever.  Beside the fact that Tony and Missy were out of town, we had a blast swimming in their pool.  Travis and Dad had a back flip contest off the diving board.  We all swam, even Logan, and ate some good ole steaks.  Thank you soldiers for our freedom.  It's now Thursday. Should get a call.  It's now 4 o'clock.  Call?  There it is.  "Ms. Jackson, we don't have the results back yet.  The lab would like to run some additional test."  Ok.  This just summed it up for me.  Not good.  Don't panic yet.  We still don't know.  Friday morning.  Dr. Ridenhour calls.  (Just remember, we have been through a lot together already.  She really is a part of our family.)  "Jennifer.  (pleasantries) So I looked at the U/S.  I don't like it.  I am waiting for the lab results from the biopsies to come over now.  Can you and Travis come see me this morning so we can talk?"  And there it was.  Within 1.5 seconds I knew I had breast cancer.  Breast cancer.  Me.  I just turned 33.  Breast cancer.  Breast cancer.  Really Lord.  Has there not been enough?  I had to pull it together.  I still needed to call Travis.  How was I suppose to call my husband to tell him to come pick me up so we could go hear Dr. Ridenhour tell us that I have breast cancer.  BREAST CANCER.    LORD I AM STILL BREAST FEEDING MY 3 MONTH OLD BABY!  Fast forward to the Dr.'s waiting room.  I sign in but instead of sitting, they bring us straight back to the next waiting room.  Remember, I have been here A LOT the past 2 years.   Dr Grumbach comes by.  He delivered our sweet Luke.  The look on his face said it all.  Even though we pretty well already knew, just having someone else know made it so much more real.  Around the corner comes Dr. R.  And so my journey begins.  How does someone who has  walked so down some really tough roads with you already tell you that now you have breast cancer?  I hated the fact that she had to tell me.  I know she hated it just as bad,  So it went a little like this from what I remember.  Yada yada yada..... you have breast cancer......yada yada yada...( in my head....I can't die..I have 2 children to raise.  I have a husband who has lost so many already.  Surely this can't be in God's plan).     I'm sure I asked some questions, I dont know what they were.  But this I remember.  We all 3 prayed.  It was what I needed.  She prayed for strength for me, for healing, for understanding.  And we all cried.  ( I hate crying in front of people)  The Lord sent Dr Ridenhour to our family.  She has been a true blessing.  Do I think of her more as a friend than my doctor now?  I sure do.  When you go through as much as we have the last 2 years, you tend to become attached to certain people.  She, as with many other people from that practice, hold a special part of my heart.  Now, Travis and I head home.  I don't remember much of the rest of that day, but I do remember this. My husband holding me on the couch.  Those faithful strong arms God gave me because He knew I would need them.  I would need them once again to carry me through some dark days.  I would need them to reassure me that everything is Ok.  I would need them to take away the pain for 2 seconds.  I would need them to hold me again while I cried.  I would just need them.  Thank you God for my husband Travis.  Thank you.  Jeremiah 29:11  "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".  God promises me this.  He has shoen me this through Luke, through Logan.  He will show me this through breast cancer.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Ty Swimming


So this is the first year of Missy's pool and Ty would live there if I would let him.  


Here is his attempt at jumping off the side.  It took a lot of bribing and encouraging.  He does not like to get his face wet.  

He swims great with his water wing on.  

I can't believe he actually tried the diving board.  I am so proud of you Ty.  

Ty's favorite spot: the steps.  And his lily pad.  Thanks Aunt Biddy.  


You can breath now.  It's a fake snake. Got me too!

Monday, July 2, 2012

Logan 3 Months

I love the 3 month age.  You start to interact with people and make the cutest faces.  You went swimming for the first time in Aunt Biddy's pool.  YOU LOVED IT!!! Ty also gave you some Italian Ice in Hilton Head.  You looked at your hand for the first time.  This biggest accomplishment for me was you took a nap in your crib.  For 2.5 hours.  So proud!  But sad at the same time.  



This cracks me up.  I have no idea how you do this.




Love this picture!